OTF Weight Loss Challenge week 2, tough to chew!

We are well into week 2, nearing week 3 of the weight loss challenge.  Our weekly e mail from OTF reminded us that weigh in's take place next weekend.  Suddenly that reality caused me anxiety.  I don't feel like I have lost. When I was weighed at the doctors office last week I hadn't lost much.  I was expecting a larger weight loss, I was hoping for it.  It seems like I have been "about 20 pounds away"  (from my goal weight) since the beginning of the year. No, I stand corrected, I have been "about 20 pounds away", since December 2015.  

Last week when I cried to my doctor about not losing weight she directed me to eat 400 calories less a day.  She says, "it's simple really, it's what goes in and what we burn out". Well one would think its that simple but it really isn't.  Or is it?

At first I refused to even entertain the idea of a 1200 calorie diet, based on the amount of physical activity I do. But now I'm considering it. I'm frustrated and I'm discouraged and this isn't typically like me. When I began with a personal trainer 2 years ago I told him I don't lose weight. He was on a regular basis surprised that I was not losing the amount of weight he thought I should be, based on my exercise and diet plan. People say it must be hard, the diet and exercising. I usually dismiss it, fortunalty despite being a (recovering,) compulsive overeater I'm not a foodie.  I'm really not into food. My tastes are simple. And as for the exercising some of the best times in my life were those times when I was being  physical , playing sports etc. before motherhood sidelined me. As I sit here almost the same weight as I was one year ago, I realize it is hard. It is very, very hard.  

This past week I drank a little but I also went on an amazing hike, Camelback Mountain. According to my ap I burned over 2000 calories!--- enough to cover the  alcohol and steak dinner!  I exercise almost daily sometimes more than once a day and I eat mindfully every day. When I'm not working out at OTF which is 3-5 times a week I'm hiking or running outside. It's like my body is in maintenance mode. My head is not nor is my heart.  I guess this is the time to take a long, hard look at what isn't working for me.  

I am grateful for the size and weight that I am now. I'm even more appreciative of all the things I can do, and the endurance I now have.  Not to mention the food-- my diet has drastically changed and for that I'm grateful! When I began this lifestyle change 2 years ago I set a weight goal, and that is still my target!  Somehow I have to reconnect my emotional back to my physical so we can work hand in hand to reach a (healthy weight)--my goal weight!!