The faces of change....

When I decided to make a change it was a big change. I wanted to change the way the way I looked and how much I weighed. I didn't think that I was one of those dieters who had tried almost every diet with limited success. But when I ran down the list of "diet plans" I had tried I realized I was in fact one of those repeat dieters. I had to change something- because what I was doing wasn't working.                          It was as simple as getting a personal trainer that was the needed change for me. He made me do things physically I never would have done on my own; at the gym, in public, and under his judgemental eye. 

"It's 80% diet and 20% what you do with your body"-- seems like a simple enough concept. Watch your diet- don't eat more calories than you burn. But do eat enough to keep up with your physical activity. I

When Life takes over---

It's been over a month since I have found the time to blog.  My blog began as a way for me to help stay accountable. Especially in the beginning when I was on the countdown to my original goal of running a 5k.   There have been many things I have thought about writing in my blog over this period of time, yet I have not had the desire to do so!  Life is good.  Things are great!  I ran a 10k in Scottsdale a couple weeks back that was fun.  I didn't PR which I was hoping to but I did go 2 weeks 0 carbs and it was during that time. I definitely felt a difference in my run performance with no carbs.  Carbs are needed. I did lose 8 pounds in the 2 weeks of no carbs, 4 of which have promptly returned!(carbs damn you!)   I am looking forward to my 2nd Hot Chocolate run next week- I do hope to PR, but I guess as a competitive person every race I participate in I hope to PR!--  I even finished another 6 week weight loss challenge at OTF and actually won 2nd place!-- that was a big surprise since at the midway weigh in I was up a few pounds (yes no doubt all muscle).  I'm still chasing a number on the scale AND a 23% body fat percentage.  

This journey is a wild one for sure. So many peaks and valleys and for me I feel there were way more valleys than peaks.   Life is not a sprint, it's definitely more of a marathon model. Endurance is the key to longevity! I have met a lot of people in this process which is great. I have lost a few friends too- which is not so great.  I was recently asked why do I post the before's and after's and the sweaty selfies as much as I do.   They asked me if it was out of pride.  Yes, it is pride and also I hope to motivate, inspire and encourage others that if  I can do it so can you! The transformation from being morbidly obese to an average size is not easy and it's way more psychological than it is physical.   If we don't like something about ourselves we do have the ability to change it. Losing 100 pounds is an easy change to see but any change we are willing to work for is a change hard earned, well worth it, and much deserved!

January 2017-- Happy is a Choice

2014 I walked 90% with Karma who had an asthma attack right out of the gate,
2015 I ran most- with Jake who was sick as can be but wanted to do it
2016 recovering from brachioplasty 4 weeks out, first return to running
2017 feeling my healthiest, expecting my strongest-- success!
-- evidence that supports the best is yet to come! 

I am not where I want to be, but I am happy where I am.  First off 2 things- 1) I dislike the word "but", that is "but", not "butt", butts I like. But, "but" not so much! and 2) As cliche as it is if you're not able to be happy with yourself, or with what you have, how can you be happy with someone / something else.

 (I also dislike the word "fair", as in "life isn't fair"-- because life isn't fair.  It's a developmental norm for a child to complain using "fair" as an argument.  An adult complaining about what's fair sounds like a child.

The Carmel Valley 5k was last weekend. I would have had a flat 30 minute time, but  I don't. But does it matter?  It does not.  I can tell you due to the clog of people at the starting line  I lost the 30 seconds needed to hit it under 30 minutes. But who cares?  I have been chasing a 30 min 5k time since I began living rather than just existing-- in other words since I began making changes with  my lifestyle.  I actually hit a 1:02 10 k- which means I succeeded at a 10 min mile pace but I was focused on the 10 mile race the following week I failed to notice my accomplishment.

I am happy and yes proud too of my 30:28 5k time, but- I realize my time is irrelevant. What I am most excited about is the progression over the years that have allowed me to reach this point.   I look at some of my before pictures and I  cant believe its me.  How did I choose that? How did I not know how badly the excess weight affected every area of my life? How did I not know how liberated I would feel once becoming a more "average" size . Which ironically standard BMI guidelines would place me in the obese category (after losing about 100 pounds STILL) and unless I want to lose muscle I will always remain in the "overweight" category. I have a few pounds of fat to lose before reaching my goal of 23% body fat.  I'm hoping to accomplish this by April. I am in week 2 of another Orangetheory Weight Loss Challenge.  I am not working out as much -due to my  muscle pain, but weight loss is more about food than exercise and I have changed up my diet again. When what you were doing wasn't working it's time to try something different.

  I no longer care if I run a 10 min mile- I only care that I don't stop.  I will still set time goals for myself, I wanted to hit the first 15k of this year in 99 mins,  I made it in 102 minutes!   Did I get what I wanted? No.  Was I happy with what I got? YES.  The Hot Chocolate Run is coming up I'm going to shoot for a flat 90 minute 15k and honestly I'm just going to be happy about the chocolate at the end!  I also plan to run my first half marathon on April 23, the La Jolla half- afterall I can't think of a better way to start my  47th birthday! Life is made for living, not simply existing.