You can hate it, or you can tolerate it

The other day I was annoyed when my mother asked me if I was still on a "diet" . When the conversation ended I asked myself why did I get so defensive? I don't want to diet, I want to live it. I concluded perhaps it's just the mother / daughter dynamic.  Earlier this year  while I was sharing my enthusiasm over the subtle changes happening to me my (adult) daughter said, "It's always easy in the beginning". Perhaps it's true 6 months was still novel and therefore the enthusiasm remained? I felt offended--especially since she was largely my inspiration for healthier eating. But then I thought perhaps it's just the mother/daughter dynamic. 

It's now been over a year although it does not seem like it.  I was thinking this morning going to OTF class the one thing that just gets harder and harder the longer you do it is going to the gym! The bar just continues to rise.  It's been 6 months of Orange Theory Fitness and each class ends with a new beginning.  Just when I think I really hate something, like burpees, I discovered it was the 1000 meter row which I hated more, but then it was a 10% incline at 8 mph which was my most hated.--now I hate none and tolerate them all.

The past year has been met with more failures than success. I could hate it, or I can tolerate it. Currently I'm on a crusade to knock the scale down and lose some serious weight. There's little more that I can do that I am not normally doing anyway- but of course I could always decrease calories and increase exercise.  Isn't that what a diet is? A restriction of sorts and an exercise of self will? Why would I want to do that? -- I would hate it and I don't think I would learn to tolerate it. 

The scale is now my partner, we have advanced from the love/hate relationship we previously had. Some days I'm angered by it, other days I'm very pleased with it, but mostly I'm content with it. I like it when it performs the way I expect it to. I can always count on the scale to hold me responsible for my actions.  The past 2 months have been quite frustrating where I'm off by about 10 pounds from my projected weight loss.  (I'm not sure why but it is what it is!)-- I no longer live to satisfy the scale. I continue to do the things I began doing over 13 months ago, I tolerate what the scale says to me and I move forward.

I have a sense of urgency at this time for a couple of reasons. The main reason is the brachioplasty I have scheduled for next month and the other reason is for the exercise restriction I will have after the surgery. I am told no exercise for at least 4 weeks. It's hard to imagine what I will do, or how I will behave without my daily natural highs. I'm not worried about weight gain, because of the 80% -20% rule. As for now, I will have fun with my personal challenge  to see how much weight I can lose in the next 3 weeks.  The best kind of challenge is a self created challenge. No matter success or failure the results are self improvement therefore making it a win/win!

Will run for pumpkin pie!