week 3 down, 14 to go...What you see, will set you free

This has been an interesting week. 6 sessions completed with Bo.  My first session this week I was ambivalent because Bo warned me the prior session that I would be running a mile in less than 15 minutes.  Im not gonna lie, I have massive excuses to justify my inability to accomplish such task. Lack of sleep, still being sick and caring for 2 sick kids being among the top of that list.  But nonetheless I went. As I walked over to meet Bo I asked myself why did I stop short last week? Why couldn't I just finish? I dug deep to discover an answer within. The answer surprised me. Focus. I was not focusing on what I was doing and nothing else. I was paying attention to what I was doing and I was concentrating but I was also thinking of other stuff. There was too much mind chatter happening.  I told myself  "FOCUS".  Focus on only the exact thing you are doing. Much like learning to meditate it's way easier said then done. And it takes practice.  Having recognized this as an impairment to my progress I know it can be mastered, again with practice.  And I did it. I ran a mile in under 15 mins. Bo was feeding me words for motivation. I was trying to lock my eyes on something in my view, so I could focus on only what I was doing. Or maybe not focus on what I was doing rather just do what I was doing without thought. I kept my eyes gazed on the red umbrella off in the distance.  Task completed, task accomplished. Today I ran the whole mile, as opposed to the sprint and walk that clocked 13:33. I still ran the complete mile under 15 mins.  I had nothing to look at but myself-the treadmill  faces a mirrored wall. My gaze was locked onto myself, with the occasional look down to see the progress. Bo asked how did it feel to be running with the whole mile. I said it felt kinda weird, I'm not grounded like Im not present, Here I am watching myself run, feeling my heart race, feeling the sweat roll yet there was a divide between my physical being and my emotional self. I guess this mile being a new experience is just that-new. The 18" drop from my head to my heart has yet to land. Until it does, I will continue to act as if, and fake it till I make it.  I don't expect to feel total authenticity while running anytime soon, although I did not expect to be running a complete mile in only 3 weeks either.  I am looking forward to hitting my gym tomorrow now that Bo showed me how the machines work and I saw how I can run a mile!

I also picked up two of my old tools this week. My Fit Bit and my Spark People tracker. The fit bit was a bust, it worked only a half day and I now have to return it so that instant gratification will have to wait.  Tracking my food with Spark People has me more conscious of the actual calorie, carbohydrate, protein etc. of the foods I eat. While Bo was not happy with my choice of almond butter and flax seed crackers for dinner last night, I was fine with it since I was within my limit. I didn't tell him I went to Dennys either, but I did and I ordered the chicken avocado sandwich, apparently it is 550 calories (an in-n-out double double is 670). An unexpected really cool thing about eating healthier foods is that my appetite has decreased, I have noticed I don't get hungry that often.  Which makes sense if you eat  a lot of carbs or other fatty foods they kind of turn a switch on in your body that says feed me, feed me more. Sadly only your emotions are satisfied by eating unhealthy foods. --- eating crap foods also prevent the 18" drop from your head to your heart, which I believe prevents you from being the best you can be.

Today I made my first smoothie. I admit I was not happy with the price tag of the ingredients. But this is a way of life and with the things we see as top priority we make them happen.  And I know I am definitely a top priority!

banana-kale green tea
2 frozen bananas
5 kale leaves
2 cups brewed and cooled green tea
1/4 cup raw walnuts
1 teaspoon vanilla
Honey to taste