11 Months later, continuing on...

It’s not I’m back, it’s I’m continuing on! I find it hard to believe that it’s been 11 months since I blogged. The interest has been present while the  time has been unavailable. When I began this journey I wrote every week- my goal was simple. Finish a 5k, running. That was 4 years ago. A lot has changed since then while a lot remains the same. I think for me what made the biggest difference was when my personal trainer accused me of not being committed. How dare he.  What does know? Well, what he knew was actions speak louder than words and my actions weren’t showing him what my words were saying. Yes I showed up for training and I exercised regularly and counted my calories but the weight was not coming off as HE expected it to. It still hasn’t lol. And I have never stopped exercising or resumed eating the way I had the first 40 or so years of my life.  I remember feeling the nerve he struck when he accused me of not being committed. I was mad and I ran a self check to see if there was any validity to it. I knew for me to get defensive  there was probably some truth in it that I wasn’t wanting or willing to see. Eventually I realized he was right — I wasn’t willing to do whatever it took.  But that’s because I had many, many good reasons for not being able to— and I was after all doing the best I could. Or was I? Likely not, it’s a sliding bar with no limits.
Another huge help was reminding myself I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I don’t ever want to be sick and tired again and a healthy diet is all it takes to avoid such feeling.  As I get older I just want to get better. With aging comes certain obstacles but they are not road blocks.  The obstacles in life are like stepping stones, each one provides us a new perspective if we pay attention, if we honor them we can continue on, not despite them but because of them.  I might not ever run another 30 min 5k. but I can still run.

It’s been 6 months since I worked out at Orangetheory Fitness. The absence was due to a torn meniscus. During this time off from OTF the number on the scale didn’t significantly  change, nor did my diet. There was some depression- I still miss an outdoors run- like literally opening the front door and going for a run!  When I blew my knee out running in the streets of San Francisco 6 months ago I new I was done, I didn’t know for how long. I’m far from 100%, but I’m grateful for the opportunity to continue on...