on to the final 4...

Honestly I lost track of how many weeks are now behind me, not that it matters anyway. What does matter is whats up ahead and it is now the final 4!  

"lost track" - "off track" is one of those catch alls that we use for anything, mainly for an excuse to explain an unmet expectation, or a lapse in judgement. It is one of  my peeve phrases.  And for that reason I will not say I am going to get back on track, now that the holidays have passed.  I didn't get off track, I made choices.  I chose to not track my food, to not track with my fitbit and to not practice health-conscious eating.    This doesn't mean I didn't care what I ate, or  that I ate whatever sounded good and it doesn't mean I didn't exercise. It means I lived the way I did about 14 weeks ago! (prior to this installment of  12 weeks at a time,  and before training with Bo).

The choices I made all have their own consequences. Now that I consciously made  unhealthy choices and I experienced the unintended consequences I know better.  When waking up with a headache is the result of an overdose of sugar its a firm reminder that I drank the poison.  While celebrating late into the night was fun at the time I didn't think ahead as to how the next day, or days would be effected. Thankfully I did work during the out of town holiday week. When I work I make a conscious choice to be responsible with my behavior in order to perform well.  And thats what I need to remember, I need to feel well in order to perform well.

   The time away we had during our Arizona thanksgiving holiday came with a weight gain, and I ate much better and exercised much more then our Nor Cal christmas trip.  I am fearful of where my ##s are now. Proud of my 13 min mile do I still have what it takes?  (13 is not where I want it to be, but 15 is where I started!)-Realizing the weight goal for 12/25 was an impossible achievement, I'm afraid to see how far off I am:(  I did minimal exercise while we were away but it felt great!  I now know I could have done more and I can only imagine how much greater it could have been.

The holidays are over, we have returned home. I can now resume to my "routine". I managed to lose the turkey gain rather quickly, not easily-but quickly. I'm hopeful that I will do the same, assuming there is a weight gain.  I have 4 weeks until the Carmel Valley 5k but only 2 weeks before the 5k Rum Run. I'm not wanting to place in either of these, I just want to run the distance! --and I know I can.

I did receive an incredible gift this past week- knowledge.  I know now the things that I want, and its only from experiencing the things that I now know I don't want!

This was the hardest blog for me to write yet-- and I think it has been the most powerful!

I will FORGET the PAST,
I will FACE the FUTURE,
and I WILL RUN!!